Dementia is not a normal part of ageing. If you are worried about memory or other changes, the NHS advises talking to a GP sooner rather than later.
When is a change urgent?
If someone has stroke-like symptoms, such as weakness on one side of the body, call 999. These need urgent medical attention.
A sudden change in confusion or behaviour should not be put down to dementia. It may be an infection or delirium (a sudden state of confusion). Speak to the GP or call NHS 111 promptly rather than waiting for a routine appointment.
Is this normal forgetfulness, or something more?
Everyone has occasional memory lapses. Forgetfulness on its own should not be taken to mean dementia.
Early changes are often mild and may get worse only very slowly. Family and friends may not notice them, or may not take them seriously for some time. The person may notice changes first, or family, friends and colleagues may spot them.
Some people have mild memory or thinking changes, called mild cognitive impairment (MCI). Some stay the same. Some go on to develop dementia. A GP can look for the cause of any changes.
Which changes are worth writing down?
Having one or more of these does not mean someone definitely has dementia. They are simply worth noting and mentioning to the GP:
- Memory: getting lost in familiar places.
- Language and communication: repeating themselves, telling the same stories, struggling to follow a conversation or find the right word.
- Judgement: poor choices about road safety or whom to trust.
- Behaviour and personality: becoming less patient or more withdrawn.
- Daily routines: finding familiar tasks hard, such as muddling change when shopping.
In some types of dementia, such as frontotemporal dementia, memory problems may not be obvious early on. Other changes, such as those listed above, may be easier to notice.
A simple notebook helps. For each change, write:
- the date
- what happened, in a sentence or two
- what was happening just before
Also note any medicines they take.
What else can cause similar symptoms?
Many dementia-like symptoms come from other physical or mental health conditions. Thyroid problems are one example. This is why a GP should look for the cause.
Where dementia is the cause, finding it early may slow its progress in some cases.
How do I raise it without causing upset?
The conversation can be hard. Your relative may not be aware of any problem. They may also be worried or find it hard to accept.
- Choose a familiar place where they feel at ease.
- Allow plenty of time, so nobody feels rushed.
- Describe what you have noticed and say you are concerned. Try not to say what you think it is.
- Offer to go to the GP with them. Think beforehand whether that would reassure them.
If they say no, you do not need to sort this out in one conversation. You can try again another day.
What happens at the GP, and what if they refuse?
If you go along, you can support your relative and help them remember what was said. The GP will ask how the symptoms developed over time. They may do a memory test and a physical examination.
Blood tests may be done to check whether another condition is causing the symptoms. If other causes are ruled out, the GP may refer your relative to a memory clinic or another specialist service.
If your relative will not see a GP, you can still get advice. Two helplines can help:
- Dementia UK Admiral Nurse helpline: 0800 888 6678
- Alzheimer’s Society dementia support line: 0333 150 3456
The numbers are also on the NHS page for people worried that someone has dementia.
What to do next
- Start a notebook today. Record dates, examples and what happened just before.
- Choose a calm time and place to tell your relative you are worried.
- Book a GP appointment and offer to go along. Take your notes and a list of their medicines.
- If they refuse, call one of the helplines for advice.
- If a diagnosis follows, our rights and benefits guide explains support that may be available.
Rules about care and benefits can differ in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. This article is general information, not medical advice. For more on symptoms, see the NHS guide to dementia symptoms.